The Story Behind The Sunflower Kam

Black woman holding up a painting of a sunflower

"The Sunflower Kam" became to be after a lifetime of pain and suffering alone and in silence.

I grew up very sheltered in an extremely religious family. Because of that, I developed a "shell" of myself, so to speak, in order to survive in an environment that was spiritually killing me.

I was being taught day in and day out that I was going to Hell just because of who I was, and my appearance and simple humanity were policed down to the color socks I wore, the colleges I could attend, and even the people I was allowed to socialize with. I was told "you are the cause of your own anxiety" verbatim, and that I had "no reason to be depressed" in response to me telling my grandfather that I was drowning in pain, mostly due to the death of my godfather a few years prior.

But despite all of that, I always hoped that my life would get better someday.

I left my church and majority of my family behind, dropped out of college the first semester of my Senior year, and took the pandemic as an opportunity to exit the workforce with no backup plan nor savings in the bank, just so I could focus all of my attention and energy on my dream. What once used to be a form of meditation and therapy quickly turned into a burning passion that I know will be with me until the day I leave this Earth. 

I remember thinking my life was falling apart all around me for as long as I could remember, but it took me years of healing and hindsight to realize that it wasn't falling apart; it was just falling into place.

I can communicate so much more about my life in one painting than I can ever do in words, and just like a sunflower always finds a way to face the Sun, I am finally able to always see the "good" in a world of "bad", trusting in the Universe to always have my back and guide me through it.

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